I saw someone on 'Say Yes to the Dress' who's job title is 'lifestyle blogger'. She was tiny and cute and modeling clothes for her presumably many fans.
Not me.
So it's been four years since I really blogged.
My husband went through four separate stage four cancers in five ears. The last one was a brain tumor diagnosed May 11, 2019. He died September 11, 2019.
I had not expected to be in my early 50s and suddenly a single mom. My daughter is 20. She's (happily) done with school. She graduated with an actual high school diploma. We're settling into our new life.
I was thinking the other day of the different segments of my life.
Birth to finishing school - Noelle 1.0
Learning to be an adult - Noelle 1.5
Married - Noelle 2.0
Alissa arrive - Noelle 2.5
Today - Noelle 3.0
2019 sucked
2020, unbelievably, almost sucks more - COVID, as we all know, is sweeping the world. I'm happy that I'm employed. I like working from home. But still, COVID.
My knee is screwed up - my right knee has been eaten by arthritis and I have calcium spurs in it. I need knee replacement surgery but I also need to lose serious weight before surgery. And I wouldn't do it right now anyway. I'm staying away from hospitals to the best of my ability while COVID is surging.
I still have to work through issues from my husband's death. No matter how well you think you know your loved one - nothing can prepare you for going through their things after they pass. I'm still 'processing'.
I want to write the next book in my Olivia series, but I can't write the story I started before I went through home hospice care and loss.
Not sure anyone will see this, but what the hell.
NLM 11/28/2020
i've read some of your husbands stuff, it was good and he will be missed. pleas take care of your self, and i cant (i will Waite) to see what happens next to Oliva.
ReplyDeleteI know it isn't enough, but I am sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one and watching them struggle can be very hard, my mother is on a decline towards the end. I used to think she was invincible, and I think she did to. Even though it is just poetry, and not even close to professional, writing helps me through the rough patches. I do hope you continue writing, and I hope it helps. Even if you don't share it with us.
ReplyDeleteglade to hear from you.
ReplyDelete